day time :
oh well, i'm feeling better now..
finally i've heard something for u..
all feelings r mixed!!! sad, happy, confused, angry, nervous, upset.. lol
can't describe it by words..
i feel glad that u're fine over there, and i feel happy when u text me and remind me to not get drunk again tonight.. lol and i am sober now! haha
i have a lil smile now.. not really a beautiful smile, but at least i can start to smile.. :)
thanks for talking to me today..
night time :
thought i could sleep now cuz i've been talking to u today but no!
i still can't sleep.. u r still in my head and bothering my night time!!!
i was trying to sleep early, cuz i feel tired and a bit sleepy..
but when i lay down on my bed and get the blanket, i just realized it's ur blanket!!!
i still can feel your smell in that blanket..
ohh.. i really miss that night!!!
i still can remember i was sleeping next to u underneath that blanket, cuddling with u, and u gave me so many kisses and made me feel like a lil kid..
u really take care of me when i'm sleeping, and i feel safe..
that's the best feeling ever..
but what now??
that feeling about that memory starts hunting me..
i trapped in that feeling! it's like a very small strong jail!
i can't get out from it!
and start crying again..
*sigh* i don't know why i still feel scare to face the truth that u were already gone.. :'(
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